Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Please Excuse Me While I Cry On Your Shoulder...

While writing yesterday's post I started thinking about my brother. I don't know why, but I just did. I was thinking about how excited I was that he will be graduating from highschool on June 5th and how I wanted to post video of his graduation on the blog for friends and family that wouldn't be able to come and for readers who have never been to a homeschool graduation. And how excited I was that he'll be going to East Tennessee School of Preaching in a little over two months. And then it hit me...
He'll be leaving in a little over two months.
Cue the tears. Yeah, I'm an emotional person. I laugh easily, and in this case I cry easily.

Seriously, I am so excited that he's going! I've encouraged him to be a preacher for a few years, but he just wasn't interested. And lo and behold, he announced to us after attending Polishing the Pulpit that he wanted to attend East Tennessee. He's starting a new chapter in his life. He's growing up! I'm so excited! He's spreading his wings and leaving the nest and I couldn't be more proud!

But still, for me, this is bittersweet. We'll still be able to visit and hopefully visit often. I know that when we visit we'll still be able to blare our favorite music while riding in the "granny" car. I know that when we visit, I'll still get to listen to the songs he's written, and hear him sing in his amazing bass voice. I know that when we visit, he and I will be able to pile in my bed and watch movies on my laptop. I know that when we visit, we'll be able to have fun and hang out with our friends in the garage till way past midnight. I know that when we visit, we'll be able to argue about who is the better barista. I know that when we visit, we'll be able to eat chocolate chip cookies and cookie dough till we make ourselves sick. I know that when we visit, he'll lead the song that I request on singing nights at church. I know that when we visit, I'll be able to give him a detailed summary about the latest Karen Kingsbury book I'm reading. I know that when we visit, I'll be able to get a guy's perspective on whether or not the clothes I'm wearing are modest. I know that whe we visit, we'll be able to remember all the fun times we had growing up.
But still, it will be when we visit. It just won't be the same. He won't be right down the hall.
I'm the kind of person that likes to enjoy the season of life I'm in to the fullest, so that I may fully enjoy the next season when the time comes. But still, change can be bittersweet. Just because I might cry and seem sad doesn't mean I don't look forward to the future. Normally, if I can have a good cry or two or three or ten, I'm able to fully embrace what is coming around the bend. So, please excuse me while I cry on your shoulder and blow my nose into a tissue. I promise I'm fine.
Things are about to change around here, and I can't wait to see what God has in store.

5 comments:

  1. First of all, *hug!*

    This is a beautiful, honest post. I know this will be a difficult transition for you. I was the first one to leave our little nest and it took some adjusting for everyone. But you're right, God has new and wonderful things on the horizon. Be sad for a while, (and you may be sad from time to time for quite a while) and be thankful for all those wonderful things you two share. No distance can come between hearts that are connected.
    Love you.

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  2. It's so nice to see siblings so close. My parents divorced when I was young and my brothers and I sometimes lived with different parents and didn't spend much time together. I wish we were closer.
    Very sweet post.
    By the way, my husband knows your brother and dad. He went to Jamaica with them a couple of times. We used to be in Demopolis, AL. Didn't know if you knew that connection or not.

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  3. *Sniff, Sniff* Waaaaaa! It's like losing a brother, but I know that he will do great! By the way, congratulations on your big day!! ;P

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  4. Growing up certainly is bittersweet! I know that you and Rodge are really close and that is one reason why you are so impacted by his moving away. Being close is a good thing. You'll have some adjusting to do, but you both will do fine. Love you!

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  5. I love to read your posts! Some day when I am "caught up" I hope to go back and "catch up" here too and read pasts posts that I have missed.You do such a good job expressing yourself and describing coming changes for what they are...HARD. Yes, you both will adjust, but you are right to say it is bittersweet. Whether it's your kiddos or your siblings, when you are crazy about them, as God wants us to be, it's just hard when they spread their wings and fly. It took us so long to adjust to Ashley being gone, and Josh will leave next year for a college about four hours away. You are right, we will all be o.k., but here's my shoulder if you need it! Love you so much.
    ~Mrs. Debbie

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